Sit down together. On a separate piece of paper, take five minutes for each of you to write down as many couple’s activities/connections as you can.
Include activities/connections that fit in the following categories:
- those that take less than 1 minute (such as a lingering hug, sexy kiss or complimenting one another, saying I love you)
- activities that take 20 minutes to 30 minutes (taking turns offering a mini-massage, sharing about a positive moment in your day, expressing what you’re grateful for about your spouse, talking a walk, holding hands or cuddling at bedtime)
- a date night activity (whether at home or away)
Recognize that touch and positive communication (verbal and non-verbal) can both provide a huge impact in a short amount of time.
- research shows that oxytocin, also known as the bonding hormone (that same chemical released during birth, breast-feeding and skin-to-skin contact with your baby) can have a huge impact on your relationship. And-it makes both of you feel good. Oxytocin floods you with endorphins while reducing cortisol (the stress hormone).
- When the release of oxytocin is followed up with a positive interaction (when touch is followed up by a wonderful compliment) it increases the release of more oxytocin!
- Studies showed that while touching anyone helps, touching those closest to us, including our spouse, reduced our stress levels even more.
At least three times a day, try to implement a 1-minute connection…
At least once a week, take the time to implement a 20-30 minute activity…
At least once every two weeks try to implement a date night activity–even if you’re just hanging out next to each other reading a book.
Feeling like there’s no time in the day? It starts with recognizing the massive value your relationship bank provides….
- a strong family unit
- increased oxytocin which leads to increased endorphins, decreased stress, increased immunity, decreased blood pressure and more
- less stress improves your ability to manage your day and your family which leads to more productivity and a smoother household (which leads to more time)
- more oxytocin leads to a stronger connection, which increases the family unit and the cycle begins.
It really is that simple.